Don't call me brave.

I've been sitting on and meaning to post this article (a home birther's reaction to being called brave) for some time. I thought I'd finally post it as it's getting more and more relevant to me now as my second planned home birth approaches.

I urge you to read it, if only to understand me better, or if you are so inclined, to understand home birthers in general. It is fantastically written and explains it all so well, but I'm going to hack it up and give you some excerpts, because I'm doubting that most of you will read the article.  Needless to say I also have some thoughts...

When hearing the news that I had my last baby at home and am planning to have this one at home as well, the first response from most people is, "You're so brave."


This has to be one of the most irritating things that people say to homebirthers. The implication is that birth is dangerous and that we are willing to take on a tremendous risk to do it anywhere but a hospital. It negates the research and planning that we've done to come to this decision.

And after reading this article I started actually responding to these comments, which I also get frequently. Now when you say something like this to me, I respond by saying, "I think people who birth in hospitals are brave." And no, I'm not trying to be funny. Hospital births carry with them a number of risks.  Many are detailed in the article, and I'm quoting a couple...

In 2003, over 20% of women had their labors induced, with a rate closer to 40% in many hospitals... Approximately 40-50% of inductions fail... and most failed inductions end in cesarean section. Inductions increase labor pain and length, and create, among other problems, an increased risk of fetal distress, uterine rupture, and cesarean section.

And in case you think c-sections are a walk in the park...

Over 30% of women in the US have cesarean sections, while overwhelming research has led the World Health Organization to set an ideal standard rate of cesarean sections at 10-12%... Cesarean sections increase the likelihood of maternal death by as much as 4 times, and have other immediate and long-term heath risks for mothers that include, but are not limited to, infection, bowel or bladder perforation, hysterectomy, future infertility, and increased risk of uterine rupture for future pregnancies. Risks for the baby include respiratory distress, fetal injury, prematurity (if result of schedule section or failed induction), and breastfeeding difficulties.

It's difficult to get into a discussion with most women who've had c-sections.  Some of them have had truly emergent situations and I will forever say thank goodness for hospitals and surgeons for those situations; I am personally counting on their availability should any issues arise that my midwife deems emergent.

A trickier set of individuals to discuss this with are the ones who have been told by their doctors that they needed a c-section for x, y, z reasons and then they go off into the world saying, "thank goodness for hospitals, because I would have died if not for my OB."  Thing is... a large baby (obviously not as large as that 19+ lb one in Indonesia) is not a reason for most people, and 'failure to progress' is extremely subjective.  My labor with Regin lasted about 48 hours.  There are few OBs out there who would have allowed me to go on that long.  Even the one I saw recently when my midwife dumped me who was totally pro natural birth and has a great relationship with many of the local midwives (including the one I'm currently working with) told me he wouldn't let me go that long.  But true 'failure to progress' would be more than simply having contractions for several days, because that is actually PERFECTLY normal, and it wouldn't necessarily be something those electronic fetal monitors picked up either.  That increase of information can make OBs jumpier and significantly increases the likelihood of c-section.

Further complicating this issue of whether a c-section is necessitated or not is the set of women for whom the c-section became necessary as a result of a chain of events that began with 'benign' interventions such as the administration of Pitocin - a drug routinely used in hospital births to intensify contractions and thus hopefully speed up labor.  For an illustration of how giving pitocin can lead to problems here is a clip from Business of Being Born.  I much prefer the related segment from Orgasmic Birth, but I couldn't find the clip on YouTube.  (You can start at about 1m 20s without missing much).



And here is another clip about a few of the other interventions that have been used over the years.



Haha.  I love it... "The best thing to do is get the hell out of the hospital."  And this guy (an M.D. himself) used to be the director of women's & children's health for the World Health Organization.  Point is... just because a doctor says an intervention is ok, doesn't mean it is.  Case in point:  I was advised in the emergency room in October (when I went in for dizziness, cold sweats, and chest pain) to get a CT scan of my lungs.  The doctor said they were routinely done on pregnant women, no problem.  My gut said no, but he made it sound like I could die if I didn't get the scan.  Turns out, my gut may have been right.  My own doctor was upset that they did the scan, and didn't think it was at all necessary or safe for the baby, and he was visibly appalled that they hadn't covered my abdomen during the scan.

Anyway... back to c-sections...

While this and many pro-homebirth articles focus their attention on unplanned c-sections, I think it's especially important to note the issues with c-sections for those who are planning them.  The whole 'too-posh-to-push' craze freaks me out when you look at all of the data on c-sections.  Planned c-sections are one of the hardest things for me to understand.  C-sections are risky.  They are major surgery.  And the recovery is longer.  (Though I continuously hear of women who go out and shop or do heavy housework within days of a c-section.  We've become so used to the idea that c-sections are no big deal, but I can't imagine anyone doing anything so strenuous within days of other kinds of major abdominal surgery.  My midwife wanted me on bed rest for 2+ weeks after birth and I had a long but uncomplicated vaginal delivery!!)

And this is one point I return to again and again:

The vast majority of women in the US give birth in hospitals, and yet the US's maternal death rate is the worst among 28 industrialized nations and the neonatal mortality rate is the second worst. The Netherlands, where 36% of babies are born at home, has lower maternal and neonatal mortality rates than the US.

We're supposed to have these great hospitals and doctors that people travel from all over to get better medical care from.  And yet... our mortality rate is horrendous!  For more info on what we can do to reduce infant mortality, watch this short film:


Reducing Infant Mortality from Debby Takikawa on Vimeo.



And my final quote from that home birth article:

My decision to homebirth wasn't made in a void, but based upon years of research. I wonder how much research the average woman puts into her hospital birth?

Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!  That's not to be smug or superior about the research I've done.  That is simply in response to the assumption that we home birth out of bravery or some touchy-feely, new-agey reason.  I, and all those I have come across who've done this, have done this after an unbelievable amount of research and soul-searching.  This is a completely information, data-based, well-reasoned-out decision.  Well, for the first one it was, this time I also have a lot of personal comfort reasons I'm adding.  We have thoroughly assessed the risks (as best we can) on both sides, and determined this to be, to the best of our knowledge, the less risky option.  So to imply to a home birther that they have chosen it for some hippy reason, or because celebrities are doing it, or anything else that isn't based on research and reason is completely offensive.

Basically, when you boil it down, we choose the home for the same reason most of you choose the hospital:  we feel it to be the least risky option and will be most likely to provide the best outcome for mother and baby.

Wow.  I was going to let the article speak for me, but I guess I had some stuff to get off my chest!

---

Another cool thing about this piece is I have a new word to add to my vocab:  iatrogenic.  It is the "inadvertent adverse effects or complications caused by or resulting from medical treatment or advice."  It amazes me how many totally useful and very specific words there are like that in our language.  It's like when I learned the word 'jingoism' after September 11th.

Unschooling in a nut shell

I wish my parents would have known about this when I was school age. I wonder how different my life could have been.



So that really is the principles of unschooling in a nut shell.  He isn't really talking directly about unschooling, but just about how children learn, how it happens naturally, whether they have formal education or not.

I have been meaning to talk more about this for a while, and I just haven't gotten to it. There is time, it's years before Regin is ready for schooling decisions. I'm kind of off my research and reading mode right now, so I might post more on the subject when I'm back in it.

A different kind of look at whaling

Some of you know that whaling is kind of a hot-button issue for me.  Those that don't know that may assume it's because I'm so passionately against it.  The opposite is true. 

As the homeland of my mother, sisters, and more than half of my living relatives, the Faroe Islands have an enormous place in my heart and pride.  One of the things I'm most proud of about the Faroese people is their ability to be, culturally and in many other ways, ultra modern yet practice traditions which are up to a thousand years old or even more.  One of those practices they continue to do is whaling.  Pilot whales, the whales they hunt and kill, are a plentiful, beautiful (and delicious!) species.  I could go into a lengthy point-by-point speech at this point to show you why I believe there is nothing wrong with the process, at least from a meat-eater's perspective, but I'll spare you.  If you want to get into that discussion with me, I welcome it.  Please post in my comments and I'll respond. 

What I wanted to do was post the most recent episode of the Faroe Islands podcast.  This is a podcast by an American who has no ties to the Faroes; he claims no loyalty there, only a more than mild interest in this unusual place.  The most recent episode is his attempt to present the topic of whaling in a totally unbiased, dispassionate way.  It's neither for nor against whaling.  However it has two very, very good interviews that are really worth hearing. 

The first interview is with an American grad student who is in the Faroes studying the practice of whale killing.  He has no emotional leanings either way, so he just talks about the various parts of it that he finds interesting and what drew him to studying it and the Faroes to begin with.  I don't know if it matters, but I feel I should note that he is decidedly against commercial whaling and the killing of endangered whales.  I personally don't see anything wrong with commercial whaling as long as the animal is not endangered, but that's my opinion.

The second interview is with a Faroese doctor who has been doing an epidemiological study in the Faroes for 22 years of the effects of mercury, and other contaminates found in whale meat, on the Faroese people, particularly on babies in utero.  Although it's not discussed in this interview, his findings are used around the world (in the scientific/medical community) in determining safe levels (ha!) of mercury, and understanding its effects.

Anyway, enough set up.  I urge you to listen to this episode.  A lot of good information here, and a lot to think about.  Here is the link to the whaling episode of the Faroe Islands Podcast.

The Good Life

There was this very cute series in the UK once upon a time called "The Good Life" (apparently renamed "Good Neighbors" in the US, but I prefer the original title).  When I watched re-runs as a kid I didn't get the social significance of what this cute couple was doing.  I just thought they were eccentric and loved gardening a little too much.

A few days ago I was looking on Netflix for something to watch instantly to kill my boredom during kitchen chores.  I found this show and put it on for nostalgia's sake.  I found myself not only laughing loudly at the jokes, but suddenly understanding what it's all about!  These guys were urban homesteaders before it was eco-chic to farm your own land.  Here's a clip from the first episode when they decide to leave the rat race to beat "it".

Building my green life

So I have been working on getting stuff ready for the indoor and outdoor veggie/edible gardening.  I have been watching/reading everything I can get my hands on that's related to food production on one's land and permaculture.  My indoor plans don't fit in with that.  I'm sure real "permies" would be dismayed that I'm using grow lamps and may even get a warming mat for the basement.  But you know what?  I'm not allowed a greenhouse, so this is what I can do.  Actually there's a lot I'm not allowed to do on my land.  Technically I'm not allowed a vegetable garden, green house, or compost.  I'm not allowed chickens which are so invaluable for self-sufficiency in food production.  Not only do they give us eggs, and possibly meat down the road, but they control pests and fertilize as they forage around the garden.  

In Colorado we're also not allowed to have a grey-water or rain-catching systems for various silly and outdated reasons.  Ugh!

I think it should be a basic human right to be able to grow one's food on their land.  In fact, I think it should be illegal for anyone to try and tell us otherwise.  I want to change things in this neighborhood.  I want to try and get the HOA to reconsider the limitations I've mentioned and other limitations such as not being allowed to hang my laundry out.  This community's rules are not eco-friendly.  That needs to be changed.  In my dreams I also go national and try and get a law established protecting the individual's right to grow food.  In a country that gives me the right to bare arms, I should also have the right to bare food on my land!  Of course there are all sorts of controversial things going on right now that suggest the possibility that food production will be strictly controlled in the future.  The Future of Food (a film I recently watched and want you ALL to see) shows how scary the situation is with GMOs and patents on plants.  Seems like pretty soon you will only be able to get GM seeds and only through Monsanto.  And the whole GMO thing turns out to be scarier than I thought.  It's worth looking into if you haven't already.

There is also supposedly some sort of bill trying to be passed somewhere right now that would effectively make it illegal to do backyard food growing.  Ack!  Can this be true?

One of my concerns beyond laws and HOA rules is that my neighbors are pumping my surroundings full of scary herbicides and pesticides.  I know they must be spraying my plants that start sending shooters to their yards.  And I get water runoff from the properties behind us.  How much pesticides then am I getting through that?  I became afraid to eat anything near the borders of our yard.  But the way our land is landscaped, it would be difficult to plant our edibles anywhere else.

I've also been reading Food Not Lawns.  As you guys already know, I am very interested in this idea that we are wasting the resources on this planet, and a lot of those wasted resources are going to our lawns, which don't even provide food.  So the movement is to replace at least part of our lawns with food-producing or otherwise useful plants.  I'm also reading How to Grow More Vegetables (than you ever thought possible on less land than you can imagine) and it talks about a 99% sustainable system (which is as sustainable as it gets) and the thing is EVERYTHING has to go back to the earth, (food scraps, and even human waste if possible).  And not only that, but something like 60% of your crop has to be for little more than soil-building.  Apparently grain fits the bill.  So I'm thinking of growing wheat instead of grass in the back.  We'll cut it short for part of the summer, since wheat grass is just like grass, then let it go to seed later in the season.  Too bad we can't use the grain since our diet is grain free, but I suppose one of you might be able to make use of it.  

In the front we're talking seriously about ripping out the smaller lawn and replacing it with a spiraled "flower bed" that will contain "ornamental plants" that just so happen to be edible.  We're also talking about taking out the ugly bushes in the front and replacing them with blueberry bushes.

Another part of this is putting in lots of fruit and nut trees.  But we have very established trees and bushes which I would hate to take out now, so I don't know we can do anything with that.  But I'm thinking of getting some nut trees to put on my parents' property.

There's a lot to do.  I hope I can produce a significant amount of food this year even though we started planning this really way too late.  Our food budget really needs to go WAY down and RIGHT NOW.  

Let's take care of the Earth we've got.

Happy Earth Day!

First things first. George did not get picked for jury duty (thank goodness). He was stuck there from 8am till after 6pm while they decided who they wanted. Thank GOODNESS it wasn't him. Anyway...

I have been watching YouTube videos on permaculture, locavorism, and hyperlocavorism. I've seen videos on homesteading, and tips for easy vegetable gardening. The big theme for me right now is that it is irresponsible, wasteful, and vain to use your land (only) for something other than food production. And part two of that theme is it's easy and very possible to feed many adults from a average-sized, suburban plot of land. Not only that, but the gardens that result can be lush and beautiful!

Did you know that the White House lawn once had sheep grazing on it? Did you know that "lawns" were invented by aristocracy who wanted to show that they were so stinking rich they could waste the land they had on something as frivolous and useless as grass? Did you know that Victory Gardens were planted in the US during the World Wars and that it was actually patriotic during that time to produce your own food? Did you know that there is a shortage of arable land in the world? Knowing that, how can we waste what we have and not produce any or much food?

There have been multiple recent movements for the White House lawn to be used for food production to encourage a change in the rest of the country.  I supported it. It actually worked! There is now a good-sized organic vegetable garden there. I personally wish it were bigger, but baby steps I guess.

Unfortunately I am not ALLOWED by my Home Owner's Association to have a full-on vegetable garden.  I have been bending that rule a bit over the years and incorporating vegetables and fruits into our landscape, but now I want something more extreme and it will not be allowed.  I'm working on getting up the energy to try and change that.  In the meantime I'm learning about indoor vegetable gardening.  It doesn't solve my problem of wasting the resources I have on a silly lawn, but it does help cut down my food bill (which is desperately needed right now) and does provide me with the possibility of home-grown food year round.

Here's some videos to inspire you.  I don't have the video on indoor gardening that really inspired me.  For some reason it was removed from YouTube.  If I see it again in the future, I'll post it.

Here's one of the movements for food to be produced on the White House lawn:


This one is SUPER inspirational.  Look how much food you can produce on .1 acres!

They feed 4 adults (up to 80% of their diet) plus sell surplus to local restaurants and caterers from their tiny plot of land!

More from this family:


It's so easy:


So, so easy:


And with a little more work, maybe some help from friends...


Activism:


More Activism:

This Lawn is Your Lawn from roger doiron on Vimeo.



As for me. I've started my indoor gardening. I have some seeds, a grow lamp, some established plants and motivation. I'm planning my attack for the outdoor gardening and how to green up our lives. What are you guys doing?

Where were you and what were you doing when...

...we got our first black president!

Regin and I were in Walsenburg staying with my parents at their ranch:

Regin and I watched on TV.

 

  

My bare-bottomed boy was soooooo...

riveted!

It probably won't mean much to Regin when he's older.  I mean, haven't we been having black presidents, since, like forever?

Well, just in case it does mean something, I thought I'd document that he was there and, though he mainly watched The Backyardigans on my iPhone while I watched the day's happenings, he was in the world, in the room, caught glimpses, and he repeated the word "true!" after President Obama during his speech.

As for my own feelings for the day.  I wasn't all that charged or moved by the swearing in or the speech.  But I have gotten teary many times when others were interviewed about their responses.  One woman had told her kids after election day, "Babies, while you were sleeping, Martin Luther King's dream came true."

I'm more worried for Obama than anything.  How can he do anything but disappoint when people, literally around the world believe he's some sort of savior?  He's a regular, albeit extremely bright, guy.  That's why I liked him.  Cut out all the pomp and let him get to work!

Where were you and what were you doing?  What are you thinking?

A clean bill of health?

I had a whole series of blood/urine tests last week, then an ultrasound for some abdominal complaints on Saturday.  I brought all the results back to our doctor (yeah we're still with the same one.  It's just too much trouble to find a new one at this point.)  She goes through each line nodding, saying, "good... good... cholesterol good... nothing wrong on the ultrasound... kidneys look good... liver... pancreas... ."  And then she looks up at me and says, "you're in great health!"

Funny.  I don't feel like I'm in great health, which is exactly what I told her.  She then mentions things about stress and such.

There seems to be a common theme here.  She, the endocrinologist, and the dietitian all seem to think I could do with some psycho-therapeutic help.  While that may be true, it's not what is causing my issues, and if we're going to examine the causal relationship between my hypoglycemic symptoms and my psychological issues we would have to conclude the opposite:  the latter will be resolved by treating the former, or, put another way, the latter IS from the former.  My psychological issues are, by and large, symptoms of my hypoglycemia.

It's not unusual for doctors to dismiss hypoglycemia symptoms as psychological.  After everything I have read and researched I believe that, in truth, not just mine, but most psychological problems should be treated as hypoglycemia!  This includes anxiety, depression, alcoholism and criminal behavior, even schizophrenia!  The list goes on and on.  And then there are lists of "physical" ailments that are linked to hypoglycemia. 

GET THE PICTURE PEOPLE!  IF YOU WANT TO BE IN GOOD HEALTH AND STOP SUFFERING FROM THAT/THOSE _________________ (headaches? phobias? chronic fatigue? aches and pains? bronchitis? heart conditions? cancer? -- yes I have read about links with ALL of these to hg) STOP PUTTING CRAPPY FUEL INTO YOUR BODY!!!

It is so hard on me to see people putting crap in their bodies every day and dismissing any concerns about how their diets can put them in my shoes.  When I tell many of you that I have HG, most of you say, "sucks to be you!"  When I suggest that you may also have it (though not as severe) and that you should also change your diet you say, "no way!  Are you nuts?"  Yes.  I am nuts.  But regardless of that I have a hard time not taking your refusal personally.

I know you love and enjoy all of those foods and drinks you won't give up.  Believe me, I know how hard it would be (is) to stop.  And, realistically, I wouldn't want to give them up either.  But your refusal and immediate dismissal is like telling a mother of a drunk-driving victim that there is no way (how ridiculous!) you'd give up drinking and driving.  There are, of course, some obvious, major differences, but bare with me while I explain.

First, it says to me that you don't take your own health seriously, or the impact it has on others, or even that there are very limited ways in which you're willing to improve your current health issues, which I guess is all normal, but it also says that you won't do anything you can to avoid being in my situation, and by extension (at least in my crazy mind), you wouldn't save me if you could.

But there is little I can do to convince you all isn't there?  I mean if it were absolutely proven that my issues were actually caused by some other illness and I could go back to eating anything I wanted, wouldn't I?  I have to just let it go just like all the other things I get riled up about.  And besides, I'm getting off topic a smidge.


Back at the doctor's office...
OK so I'm annoyed that she's not taking my hypoglycemia as a legitimate complaint and that she doesn't see it as evidence of compromised health, but I have to admit, it's an awfully sweet feeling to hear that I'm otherwise doing so well.  And it was fun to think it proof that there is nothing wrong with the high protein, high (saturated) fat and high calorie content of my diet.  Proof also that mainstream nutrition information is totally bogus. 

Then George whacks my head out of the clouds with a big old baseball bat.  Maybe, for example, my cholesterol was even lower before and it's now on the rise.  We'll have to wait for future blood scans to decide anything so bold as my diet being the true ideal.

But you know, I did get the ultrasound for a reason.  When I ask the doctor about my stomach complaints, she decides it must be gas.
"Do you have a lot of wind?"
"No."
"I think it's wind."
???

Cyber-stalking our old neighborhood

So George sent me a link to our address on Google Maps in 'street view' and...

creepy? cool? both?  You can even move around a little and see it from slightly different angles.

Based on a number of clues (which are kind of hard to see in my capture) we've determined this has to be last year in the fall.  It's funny, because before we figured that out I looked at it and some other spots in our neighborhood and thought, "wow! That really looks like how I remember it looking last year in the fall!"

It's weird seeing our house again.  A few of you know that I'm considering coming back to the States very soon and I've been feeling more homesick than I was before.  I would have thought seeing this would make me want to go back more.  It doesn't.  Looking at it, I feel totally indifferent.  Even when I used the map to "walk" through our neighborhood and look at the park I wasn't all that nostalgic.  I really think I'm ready to go home and I think my illness is an incredibly good excuse for me to go since it has been totally out of control since we got back from Thailand, but I fear that I will regret cutting my trip short.  Hmmm...

For fun, here are some other houses I've lived in in Colorado...
My sister's house:

My parents' old house:

Denver is one of the test areas for Google Maps' street view.  George and I have previously already had fun 'walking' through downtown and looking at familiar buildings.  But when it comes to people's homes, what do you think?  Is it creepy?  Why is it more scary to me to publish a link to the street vew of my house on Google Maps than it is to publish my address?  Should I even be publishing the above photos?  I figure, they can't be any worse than posting my own photos of my house when it snows or whatever.  Can it?  What do you think?  I'm also starting to get a little nervous about all of the information we're putting about ourselves on Facebook and Geni, etc..  And yes, I'm aware that I'm a heavy contributor to both.  But I'm just thinking, if someone ever does want to get all "big brother" on us, are we giving them the means to do so?

Penang -- Week 34 -- The Ball Pit and the Maid

How could I forget something else we did on Sunday?  We also went to this indoor kiddie park at the mall.  There is a toddler area, but Regin wasn't interested.  Mostly he just wanted to be in the ball pit. 

Those kids at the end were racing with George and Regin.  So cute.  And Regin LOVED the slide.  He was squealing and signing, "More! More! More!"

It was interesting.  Several kids had been left there with their Indonesian maids/nannies while parents presumably shopped.  I mention the fact that they're Indonesian because there is a whole connotation that goes along with that that I'm not even sure how to articulate.  Whatever it is though, it makes me somewhat uneasy, yet fascinated.  This whole maid-having culture is not one I thought I'd ever be a part of.  And there is a certain stigma with the Indonesian maids, and it's definitely different than having an Indian maid, like I have.  It's not better or worse on the employer's end, but I believe it's worse on the Indonesian's end.

Having the access that I do, it's hard not to stare when I see them.  I try to imagine the life of these maids, what they're day-to-day is like, what goes through their minds.  Do they hate these brats they follow silently all day long?  Do they find the work demeaning?  I'm telling you, it's different than, say, an au pair or a western nanny.  There is a smidge of prestige in that, or at least some dignity.  But here, they seem like the silent, sub-human characters that I recognize from films that have traditionally marginalized the blacks or latins in our culture.  Do they get that?  Do they feel marginalized?  Do they feel they are seen as lesser?  Do they think that's OK?

And I have heard the locals talk about the stigma against Indonesian maids.  In fact, several of the local babywearers have talked about how uncomfortable it makes them when people assume they are the family's Indonesian maid because they are carrying their babies in a sling (something that's mostly associated with the more ethnic/native/old-fashioned Indonesians.)  We had a demo of the traditional Indonesian baby-carrying technique when one of the babywearers brought her maid with her to babywearing group one day.

I'm telling you.  I'm not sure how to process it, or what I think of it, but the nuances of it all are fascinating to me.

Penang -- Week 34 -- I'll dress up as a 'cultural imperialist' for Halloween

Week 34

W-EEK-END, October 31st - November 2nd

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Friday, just in time for Halloween, I receive a care package in the mail from my mom.  It includes a big, hairy, pipe-cleaner and yarn spider (love it!) to help my minimal Halloween decor, and four packets of stevia to help my boring diet.  I am SO excited to try using the stevia and make some muffins and cakes and all sorts of goodies!

But only four packets means I will have to be a little choosy with my first experiments.  For now I am consumed with decorating.  Today is Halloween and the place only has a few touches, so I spend the day trying to make a last-ditch attempt at getting the place thoroughly spooked out.  It's all right I guess.  And it's fun to do. 

In the evening, there is salsa dancing, and the only sign of Halloween is a foreigner in a Frankenstein T-shirt.  Hmmph.  I should have worn something like that.  I did get a little goth with my look for the night though to be in the spirit, even if no one else is. 

At the salsa club, we make the announcement that we will begin teaching next week for free.  We really want to teach before we leave here; it's sad that they are so eager and we are a resource to them that they're not getting to use.  We also miss teaching, or at least I do.  So we've decided to do it for free so there are no legal issues.  We'll see though, some people don't seem like they will let us get away with giving them free classes.

Saturday is spent getting ready for the Paz Halloween party.  Since we had no idea if we'd even be here, we never really planned costumes.  So we have a fabulous (hypoglycemia-friendly) meal at a Malay cuisine restaurant, and spend the entire afternoon in Toys-R-Us trying to come up with something clever for Regin to wear.  Shall we glue cars to him and make him a street?  Shall we glue puzzle pieces and make his hair wild and call him "puzzled"?  Nah!  Forget it, we have no time left.  Let's just buy one of the PREMADE COSTUMES AVAILABLE IN THE STORE, WHO KNEW!?!?!?  It's no fun, but it's done, and it's cute.  He's a baby skeleton.  What about me and George?  We have about an hour before we have to be at the party.  So I grab the only adult costume items they have at Toys R Us, tattoo sleeves and a granny wig.  Great!  I'm a tattooed granny!  We run over to The Reject Shop to buy some cheap ill-fitting "granny" clothes for me, and a cheap shirt we can shred and paint for George to be a shark attack vicitim.  George's costume is kind of lame, especially since we keep the gore to a minimum since this is mostly a kids party we're going to.

The party is fun.  The real pleasure for me is to check out all the amazing decorations Carmen and family have put up.  Wow!  I thought I'd done OK, but now I'm thinking I totally held back.  I'm inspired to do more in the future with our house.  Meanwhile, at the Paz house, kids are running around being kids on Halloween.  Looks like the Paz kids are the local ambassadors of Halloween like I was in England and teaching the other kids the beauty of this American tradition.  Even as kids we're cultural imperialists!  Haha!  I wonder if any of the locals here thought it was a birthday party like the kids thought at my parties.  I wonder if they received gifts.  Then again, these are mostly kids from the international school.  There might not be any local kids present.

Fernando tells us that last year there was nothing Halloween-related to be found in Penang. Now he's amazed to see that there are sorts of Halloween things around here. It's nice for the people far from home who want to participate in their usual traditions, and it's great for those who think getting a little ghoulish once a year sounds like cathartic and silly fun. But it's a little sad to me that American culture is spreading like wildfire. Caroline, in the UK, and Beinta in the Faroes both mentioned (here and on Facebook) about Halloween parties they were going to. They had never heard of Halloween parties when I lived in England. Next thing you know, the Fourth of July celebration here won't be an expat thing. And in another 10 or 20 years when we someone wakes up after passing out drunk in who knows where in the world, he may as well ask which part of the US he's in.

But for now, I know where I am.  I'm in Penang.

Nothing much going on on Sunday except my excitement over pancakes.  And now I'm noticing that there are posters all over town for a Halloween party at a local club.  I'm thinking three things looking at the posters:  it would have been fun to go, why is everyone so eager to Americanize, and where the heck did these people in the picture get their costumes?

More about American prejudice

Sorry, one more.  But this one is important I think.  George sent me this article this morning.  It seems to be an article about how the Islamic American community overwhelmingly voted for Obama, but that's just the intro to the more important topic:  the treatment of Islam during the campaign.  I.e.  how dirty of a word "Muslim" is, so much so that it was used to defame Obama's character.  It's horrifying to hear what some of my fellow Americans have been saying in regards to this.  This is what I mean about the ugliness and prejudice that we're showing the world.  How can the Middle East ever trust us or be interested in any kind of peace process when our president has his citizens behind him saying that Islam is necessarily evil and absolutely tied to terrorism? 

Did any of you receive the DVD insert in the newspaper (mentioned in the article) that repeatedly shows juxtaposed images of Nazis and Muslims?  I'm sick to my stomach!  And how sad that Muslim Americans had to hide their support lest they destroy Obama's chances at the White House!  How can we end this ignorance?  And how can we hide all the evidence of it until we do?  I guess I could start by not posting it on my blog, huh?

Supporting a positive global effect

Reem sent this article to me about the sudden change in attitude towards Americans living overseas since Obama's win.  I identify so much with the woman in the article who has learned ways to cope with varying degrees of hostility due to her American nationality.  I have not ever pretended to be from another country or lied when asked, but I have had a "never-tell-unless-asked" policy.  It worked particularly well in England when I had an English accent.  Of course, the news still traveled and those who found out often gave me hell.

"Are you American?"
"Yes."
"I've just taken a sudden disliking to you!"

I sat through one class where the teacher spent the entire period telling a joke about the massive amounts of excrement on Noah's Arc.  That was the set up, the punchline was that the pile that was discarded into the sea was eventually discovered by Columbus and named America.  He said that looking directly at me.  I was about 11 or 12.

I developed the shame that is discussed in the article.  And it's a shame I still struggle to free myself from. But should I?  Although I'm not personally responsible for my country's past actions, I'm not sure that all American's shouldn't be feeling a little shame.  It's not an accident we're so unpopular.  And it is important that we change that.  Maybe a little of that shame, instead of the blind pride many of us walk so boldly with, can help us make the necessary change.

The fact that Obama is helping our PR to this extent is so great.  I only hope that he doesn't disappoint to a degree that would bring us back to square one or even somewhere worse.  We also need to act as ambassadors to support the PR shift.  And I don't only mean people who are overseas.  I mean you guys at home too.  I cringe when I read what Americans say online.  And what foreigners see of our YouTube videos, TV shows, and other media does not paint a very friendly picture of us.

Shanti was asking me about it all Friday.  As usual, she really didn't understand or remember what I'd said to her before.  So she came in saying, "He already won?"
"Yes."
"Everybody say is a good thing."
"Yes!"  My excitement was renewing.  "Lots of people think so, but not everyone."
"It's very scary.  They really don't like black people there."

Sigh.  How can I argue with her?  You read those couple of quotes in my newspaper summary yesterday, right?  In case you didn't, I think it's worth putting one again here:

"I don't think we'll have to worry about another African-American president in four year's time, because after what's going to happen in the next four years under Obama, we'll never elect an African-American again."

Shanti's right.  It is scary.  We think this is such a victory and such a positive sign for our culture.  But there are still plenty of Americans who have just as much ignorance, prejudice and ugliness in their hearts as ever.  Even if Obama's foreign policy is perfect, and he mends bridges all over the place.  Our everyday citizens may undo his work.  Who wants to deal with a prejudiced and superior culture?


________________________________________________________

OK. I think I've had my say.  No more Obama on here, at least not for a while. 

We're hoping to go to Thailand today!  If not today, then tomorrow.  I've pre-posted a bunch of posts, so no worries, they will continue in our absence.  TTFN!

Obama's Victory - Local Perspective II

I thought I'd share some article summaries from yesterday's newspaper so you can get an idea how Obama's victory is portrayed here.  One thing is clear.  The world has a lot of hope placed on Obama's presidency.  With such high expectations, it's hard to imagine anything but disappointment resulting.  Let's hope not.  Read on...

Cover: 
CHANGE HAS COME
"He's already changed America by becoming the first black man to win the White House.  His challenge is to change the course of its government and guide it through hard times an past the financial crisis he inherits as he takes office.  And deliver on his promise of a new dawn for the world."

Page two:
PM: World hopes for positive change
Malaysia's prime minister, Datuk Seri Abdulla Ahmad Badawi talks about the expectations the world has for this new leader and the hope that he will address issues in Iraq, Afghanistan, Iran, and Palestine.  "He also hoped that Obama would be fair in dealings with Islamic countries and groups."  He also spoke about hopes for improved relations between the US and Malaysia specifically.  He feels that Obama's ties in Indonesia and Malaysia (he has a Malaysian brother-in-law) will be a positive influence in the relationship.  Further, "Although I don't share all his foreign policy prescriptions, I think he represents change in the YS and he is willing to engage in meaningful dialogue." 

KL looks forward to better relations
More hopes for improved relations with Malaysia.  "Malaysia welcomes his victory as a new beacon in the struggle for democracy."  Interestingly, Malaysians are also interested in the fact that we finally have a black president:  "...as the first African-American president, Obama's victory proved that Americans were able to look beyond race and religious beliefs in electing their leader."  Interesting.  Did they also get those email forwards about Obama being a Muslim? 

Page four:
'Obama Boleh' spirit abounds in KL
People have previously tried to explain the Malaysian concept of "boleh" in the past, but I still don't get it.  It's some kind of rah-rah-rah spirit though.  Like "Yay!  Go Obama!" or something to that effect.  Pictured are three "staunch Obama supporters" dressed in Obama-boleh tees (I so need one) while attending the election-watch/party at the US embassy.  WHY didn't I know that was going on?  We missed out on that too!?!?!?    And it sounds like it would have been so fun!  "It was the worst kept secret as to who most of those who attended supported, with Malaysians and their foreign friends loudly cheering and clapping jubilantly every time a result came in from an US state where Obama had won.  When it was finally clear he was victorious, the hall erupted into a delightful frenzy.  The packed hall at the Renaissance Hotel was decked out in blue, red, and white, with a festive feel to the occasion courtesy of balloons, banners, colourful hats and even life-size cut outs of both Obama and Republican candidate John McCain."

IT'S A LANDSLIDE VICTORY
A reuters article.  It's a basic summary of the victory, race issues, his background, his promises, etc..

Page 24:
Enter Obama, at a time of stark choices.
Discussion of the US's dire economic situation and that the "talk now is of a global recession." Someone is going to have to explain that one to me, because I know diddly about economics.  But how can there be a global recession?  If one country is in debt, doesn't that make another country rich?  The article seems to put a lot of weight in the US's position in the world even if we no longer  have the "privilege of having the largest, most dynamic economy, and one that acted as a world creditor."  I find it kind of funny that they refer to Bush as a "lame duck president."

Obama's story captures their imagination
Someone with a very Indian-looking name reports from Grant Park, Chicago, and beautifully describes the overwhelming emotion of Obama's victory as he actually experiences Obama's victory speech in person.  He must be American though because it's hard to imagine a Malaysian or other nationality get this excited about it:  "So stand up.  Holler.  Scream, at the top of your lungs.  Call your friends.  Call your families.  Wake up your children.  They're going to want to see this.  And don't forget where you are right now, right this minute, because years from now, people are going to ask you:  where were you when Barack Obama became president of the United States of America?  In this life of ours, it's is truly a rare thing when can genuinely claim to have witnessed history. I do not believe that it is possible to overstate the importance of what just happened and I am truly convinced that this will be the defining moment not just for American history, but for all our histories."  He also talks about race:  "I am under no illusion that Obama's victory means all is well with race relations in America.  It does, however, show progress."  He goes on to say that he liked McCain but didn't think it was the former, truer McCain that campaigned. 

On the emotions of the event:  "Obama is speaking now.  The people around me are weeping.  They're clapping.  I'm having a hard time comprehending what he's saying.  The strength of the feeling around me is just unbearable. I'm going to have to go home and read a transcript.  But somehow I feel reassured.  There is something about the sound of his voice that tells me everything is going to be all right.  It's irrational, I know.  But rationality is for another time.  Tonight I am not cool, collected, or objective, as I stand here, surrounded by these people, I find it impossibly hard to be.  As I stand here, in the only country in the world founded entirely on ideas, with no common ancestry, religion, or even ideology, I finally understand why for generations people have flocked to these strands."

Page 28:
Asia pins hopes on Obama
China hopes for stronger ties. Australia's prime minister is excited about the progress in American race relations. Pakistan's premier hopes Obama will promote peace and stability in Afghanistan. Afghanistan's president is all excited about the race thing too. India:  "Obama's youthful energy [is] in tunes with the dynamism of the emerging country. [India's  ruling party is] confident that that rapidly warming ties [will] grow stronger under Obama's leadership.  South Korea hopes for better relations and the Philippines hopes for "greater cooperation."  Indonesia hopes the change will "boost the fight against the global economic crisis."

New dawn of American leadership
An AFP article from Washington.  Summaries of Obama's foreign policy goals. Mentions of people around the globe celebrating his victory and their increased hope.

Page 29:
They rejoice for the man whose middle name is... HUSSEIN"
An AFP article from London.  Mostly discusses the celebrations around the world, including the US embassy party in London (aargh, apparently they are commonplace!  Did everyone know about these but us?)!  A 29-year-old Thai man says, "He had an Asian childhood, African parentage and has a Middle Eastern name.  He is a truly global president."    An American in London says, "It would be nice to have a president who is celebrated when he goes abroad and his effigy is not burned."

 Ex-classmates in Indonesia very proud of 'Barry'
Talks about the kids who currently go to Obama's old school in Indonesia, and his former classmates' pride in him.  They mention how he mastered the language and how smart he was.  "Even as a young boy, he was good at using persuasion to settle his little fights with other boys."  And... "He has been a global person since he was a little boy.  He lived in Indonesia, he understands and shares Asian culture."


Page 30:
'I'm excited... he's going to pull us from over here... If McCain had won, we'd be over here for years, and I mean years and years.'
Reuters.  US soldiers in Iraq share how happy they are at the news.

Iraq does not expect hasty change
Reuters.  Iraqi leaders aren't getting their hopes up too much.

Page 31:
McCain diehards fear the worst
Oh what a sad portrait to paint of us to other countries.  "I just don't think America is quite ready for an African-American president." And the big doozy... "I don't think we'll have to worry about another African-American president in four year's time, because after what's going to happen in the next four years under Obama, we'll never elect an African-American again."  Sigh.

Page 50:
Obama win buoys sentiment
Hopes that his election will bring "a fresh stimulus" to various Asian economies.

Page 5 of the People section:
Obama's strongwoman
Basically behind every great man is a great woman and this one is so great because of her fashion sense and because she knows her place.  Hmmmm....

Obama's Victory - Local Perspective

I just had to get a copy of today's newspaper.  Any American newspaper from this day would be a historical document worth saving, but a newspaper from Malaysia talking about the day is a much more perfect souvenir for my experience.  

Yesterday, after it was announced who the next president would be, I was about to explode with the news.  I first called George at work to tell him.  That didn't satisfy my urge, so I told Shanti, our maid.  She had no idea we had elections going on.  "So George is no more?"
"Well, Obama doesn't become president until January, so George will be president until then."
She asked me how I voted.  I told her that I hadn't.  I hadn't gotten around to taking the necessary steps to get that absentee ballot.  She thought people not voting or registering was a Malaysian thing.  "No," I said, "That's everywhere."

I still had more excitement to scream so I went online to see who I could see.  Facebook was filled with joyous exclamations from a good 90% or more of the people writing status updates.  There were only a few not so joyous statuses.  I wondered if they felt the same kind of defeat I felt when Bush became president.  And I wondered if this euphoria and optimism I felt was what it felt like to be a republican in the last 8 years. 

I still wanted to celebrate vigorously with anyone I could.  So, when we joined some friends in the evening for a Guy Fawke's Night celebration (our friends Debz and Dave are British), I asked, "So have you all heard our good news?"
Blank stares and head shakes.
"Obama won."
"Who is that?"
"He will be our next president."
"And that's good news?"
"YES.  It is for me!!!"

No one present (Malaysian or British) had any idea our elections were going on, who Obama was, or anything.  So strange given how widespread his media reach has been.  I've seen people perusing his books in Tokyo and in Penang.  And I'd read online that people around the globe were taking notice of this election.

Some people here know plenty about it.  George's coworkers have been grilling him about his choice of candidate and have told him that they hoped Obama would win.  Today at a play group, our Australian friend Alison asked me if I was excited and told me that some of her friends were going out to "have a beer for Obama." 

Then, this evening, I grabbed a copy of today's newspaper.  It says "New Straits Times" on the cover, but this particular issue might more aptly be titled, "All About Obama's Victory."  There must be at least a dozen articles about him.  And, indeed, he certainly shows some presence on the front page as you can see above.

So Malaysians, like Americans now ask, he can talk the talk, but can he walk the walk?

No longer an outsider?

For my entire life, I've lived as an outsider.  I grew up in foreign cultures, not even sure if I knew what my native culture was.  Each way I turned, I was different.  Moving into adulthood in Colorado I felt more different than ever.  Every day I lose a little of what once made me feel European, but I have always felt ideologically and in other ways out of sync with local culture.  It's probably no coincidence that I am now on the other side of the globe.

Honestly I feel an outsider in every relationship, when I get down to it.  I'm sure this is universal on some level, but I am forever feeling like I am not surrounded by like-minded people.  That has changed a little over the past couple of years with some of the friendships I have that have flourished.  But I have long ached and felt alone.  And I felt at odds with the world and especially with Colorado and its conservatism.

And it got worse.  Many of you know that I lost my job in 2001 because of some conflict I had with my racist coworkers.  I came to learn there was an undercurrent of racism in Colorado that I had to ignore or I couldn't make it through my life there.

Bush's re-election was it for me.  It was more than I could handle.  I wanted to give up my citizenship; it was that serious.  By then we knew what he was about.  We knew he tricked us into war.  But his religion factored in for many.  And it seemed to factor in for no one but me that his re-election would inflame the world's dislike (hatred) for us.  I know I am supposed to accept that everyone has different beliefs.  It's a nice idea in theory, but in practice it's really hard.  I've had to shut off a part of myself, and will myself not to think about it.

So today, when the US actually told the world that they wanted Obama as their representative and leader, I became truly overwhelmed with emotion.  It was so unexpected.  I thought I mostly didn't care.  But when he won, when I saw Jesse Jackson cry, when I heard McCain's lovely concession speech, I began to cry too.  And the absolute, non-sugar icing on that almond-flour cake is that Colorado, the state I felt so at odds with all these years, voted democrat!  I can't believe it!  Maybe they are my people after all!  Maybe we aren't so different.  Maybe they aren't all ultra Christian, ultra conservative.  Maybe they don't all believe the ridiculous equation:  Middle-Eastern=terrorism/evil, Islam=Middle-Eastern, Obama=Islam, therefore Obama=terrorism/evil.  And maybe that undercurrent of racism isn't as widespread as I thought.   

George and I shared our experiences when he got home from work.  He, too, was emotional at the moment of Obama's victory.  It's unbelievable that we could feel so much from a politician being elected into office (of any kind) but as George put it, it's almost as if a great weight of oppression has been lifted off of us.  That's what it's like to find that there are so many like-minded people out there when you thought there were so few.  We thought we were in the minority, constantly swimming against the current, constantly having to explain ourselves and often having to conceal our real thoughts on many sensitive subjects when the other side felt no such need.  We didn't know how tired we were of all of the double think.

Now... I... feel... like dancing!  Like running up to the top of the hill and laughing!  And I'm aching to be with others who share my celebratory mood.

That's what I get for being here.  We missed out on the Democratic National Convention in Denver, we missed out on celebrating with friends at Obama's victory.  And we also missed a lot of the experience of watching it happen.  The internet was so choppy that at best I got a few words in between long pauses, and at worst, I got nothing.  I missed most of Obama's speech when it was live.  But I'm all caught up now.

Anyway, I just wanted to say...  For, perhaps, the first time since I was a little girl, I am proud of my country.  And I am happy to be truly proud of Colorado.  And when we return to Colorado after our stay here is done, for the first time in my life, I may actually feel like I'm coming home.

Gosh what does that say about me that that's all because my guy won?

Penang -- Week 27 -- Lost in Translation

MONDAY - TUESDAY, September 15th - 16th
Monday it's family shopping day this week.  Regin and I hop in a cab and go and meet George at the mall down by work.  We can walk to Gurney Plaza by the apartment, and it's a nicer mall, but Queensbay, down by Agilent, has more of the cool stores. 

Our cabbie is not our regular guy.  This one is a practically a Penang tour guide and points out every school and police living quarters and every other mundane sight you could imagine.  He also refers to our dear own Mr. Prez., G. W., as "King of the World" whose successor, he predicts, will be Obama.  I'm not sure whether I should encourage the disdain towards our current head jefe, so though I'm generally always up for G. W. bashing, I keep quiet and let him go back to rambling on about the places that policemen live and why he's so proud to be a Malaysian.  In case you're curious, the answer apparently has largely to do with the fact that there is mutual tolerance and respect between the followers of all the various religions.  He believes any man's religion to be sacred and untouchable. 

People talk a lot about the harmony between the various culture groups here.  I'm not sure I buy it.  Outwardly, sure.  But there are undertones of discordance.  Thing is, in this culture, you don't speak out against the group.  The peace of the group comes first.  So that makes it difficult, if not implicitly forbidden, for anyone to express any real intercultural frustrations. Though, even if it weren't taboo, I'm not sure if anyone would even be able to say anything.

Tuesday a couple of our most vital air-conditioning units have stopped working, and we're melting in little puddles all over the apartment.  So some guys are in to fix the things.  First of all they show up at an unexpected time.  George had asked them to confirm with him and they didn't.  He had told them I would be home, so that was good enough for them.  I had no warning.  The place was the most embarrassing wreck that an overtired mother of an active toddler couldn't scramble enough to hide.  I wouldn't even let our maid see it (or me) like this.  I try to refuse them, but they look at me with the familiar blank stare that speakers of a different language give when you are obviously saying something in Martian.  They call our mutual contact and hand the phone to me.  She insists I let them in.  Ugh.

Before I know it, they are tearing down units and taking them away.  They're out on my balcony (laundry room) removing a unit there, and no one can tell me why.  I never said anything about that one.  All they can manage is something not quite so advanced or clear as "need to take" and when I keep insisting on receiving an answer to my, "WHY?!!!??" I get more blank stares.  I'm on the phone again with the apartment representative who tells me to let them take the units, they are broken and need to be fixed/replaced.  She won't listen when I try to tell her over and over that there is an additional unit they are taking that no one complained about. 

I give up and indicate that there is something wrong with another unit.  The head guy takes a look.  He doesn't say anything to me and then he climbs out on the ledge outside my bathroom window and starts disassembling more stuff.  I have no idea if the unit I just asked about is fixed or if my problem is being ignored.  So I try to ask.  This is, after all, our most intensely used air con unit in the apartment, without it we might as well be baking in the sun all day.  The head guy says something like, "OK." 
"Can use?" I ask. 
"Can."
I indicate with my hands that one of the lights keeps flashing.  When I press him to tell me what that means, he says, "cannot talk."  And flat out ignores me the rest of the time he's there.  Doesn't even let me know he's finished and leaving!  And he leaves greasy white (paint or what I don't know) footprints all over my dark red bath tub and two on my black scales before he leaves. 

Jerk.  I know he did that on purpose.  All his little subordinates were crammed in that bathroom with him.  He seriously had to weigh himself with all of them there before he left?  No.  He knew he was leaving me little, impossible to remove reminders of his visit.  This is infuriating!  And most of this is because not one of these guys, air con boss or air con minions, speaks any English.  I want to be angry and say that this is proof that we should have been given Malay lessons, but these guys probably don't even speak much Malay.  They all looked ethnically Chinese.  And as I've already found out, the relationship between the Chinese here and the Malay language is not all that dissimilar to that high school French that you forgot as soon as the memory of school-enforced learning faded away into "real life."

Malaysian really don't necessarily know how to speak Malay!  Do you know, there is this story in the news about an ethnic Indian Malaysian (pregnant) girl who gave birth in prison because when she was stopped by police and asked for her identification (which she didn't have on her) her Malay was so broken that they were certain she was a foreigner, and therefore an illegal alien! It wasn't until a doctor check up for the baby that someone heard and understood her story.  And this is not some child of illegal immigrants, we're talking someone who is as Malaysian as the Malay-Malaysians are, whose family has been here for generations.  And she ended up being imprisoned for 11 months before the truth was discovered!

It's a wonder that any real discourse of any kind can go on here.  Or does it even?  I mean, most of the Chinese youth seem to speak broken English to each other, and we hear broken English being spoken between parents and children as well.  They're articulacy in English is so limited, I have to wonder how much depth their discussions can possibly have.    And if their minds aren't exercised in critical thinking and rhetorical discourse, how much intellect is fostered?  Maybe they speak a much higher level of Hokkien and can argue till the end about the connotation and denotation of various semantic choices, but then why do they seem to always speak amongst themselves and raise their children in their weaker language? 

And what about the discourse that should be going on between culture groups?  Does the language barrier make it impossible for it to even happen?  I mean, imagine if you were limited to very rudimentary language when trying to discuss the marginalization of various ethnic groups in the US!  Of course there are plenty here who are more articulate in English, but not good enough for George and I to exercise our debate muscles with them a whole lot.  And it's not that they understand each other better than I understand them (although that too is true), I have overheard locals not understanding each other's English.  And yet they shop in English, gossip in English, and discipline their children in English.  And they see no reason to do it any other way.  Some of them are absolutely baffled when someone we know wants her half-Chinese kids to learn Chinese and can't comprehend why we might be working so hard to make sure that Regin retains his father's language.

But what I want to know is, how to receive important maintenance instructions from the air con installers, or get any help from our night security guard without having a full-time, live-in translator in my employ?  Anyone know where I can pick up a C-3PO in Penang?

My favorite things about Islamic nations

Ok, sorry for the delay, but as you could maybe tell from my last post, I needed a break.  Phew.  I'm well rested from blogging, so now back to work!  I'm working on some posts right now, but I'm having some hard drive space issues which is making it difficult for me to deal with the photos to put up here.  But I should have a post up sometime today or tomorrow latest.

Tomorrow is our anniversary.  We'd hoped to make our Thailand trip for our anniversary, but now it's looking HIGHLY unlikely.  We're hoping to leave this weekend or next week, who knows.  It may just have to wait altogether.  But, George has the next two days off of work.  Muslim holiday this time.  Hari Raya (or Eid ), the end of Ramadan.  It's the muslim holiday, which would make it the holiday in the rest of Malaysia.  It's not as enormous here since we're in a predominantly ethnic-Chinese area.  But hooray for yet another religion giving George yet more days off!  This must be why Malaysians are so tolerant of all the major religions here; the more religions, the more days off.  Do you think our tolerance of non-Christian religions in the States would rise if we got lots more public holidays like Malaysia?  Something to think about.

We've been invited to a Hari Raya celebration Thursday.  If we can go, I'd be excited.  I've missed an Indian baby naming ceremony already, but I am eager to take part in these celebrations with locals I know.  Such a great opportunity!

By the way, by far my favorite thing about living in a muslim country (so far) other than the perspective it gives me, is the prayer call.  At first I thought it would drive me mad to hear it several times every day, especially since we have two mosques in our immediate vicinity.  And to tell you the truth, not every guy who does the prayer call has the voice for it.  But for the most part, when I'm still enough to even realize I'm hearing it, it's haunting and beautiful and makes me feel like I'm living in an epic like Lawrence of Arabia or The English Patient.  And my favorite-favorite part (that much better than my favorite part alone) is that Regin notices it far more than I do, and he sings along every time he does.  "OOOooooooooooooh!"

New Taste and Tiny Tot Fashion

I'm in total fashion mode.

I guess I'm a little more inspired here with fashion. Yeah, I've mentioned that they dress here the same way as they do in the States (sort of), but the truth is, some of them dress way better. Way better than Coloradans anyway. Between that and my weight-loss and need for a new wardrobe, I'm a little fashion obsessed. I swear, sometimes I think I totally should have studied fashion.

When George told me that he wasn't exactly averse to a fashion upgrade/update I got even more excited.  I love shopping for clothes for other people.

I'm going through some sort of a taste shift too.  When we first moved here, I was eager for decor ideas. I picked up every magazine I could find. No Domino, sadly, but I found and IMMEDIATELY fell in love with Vogue Living, the Australian edition. Oh my gosh. It's like interior design as true art. And it's so artsy that it actually satisfied an immense craving I had for seeing art.

Then something else happened.

A couple of weeks ago, I found an imported copy of Lucky magazine. I was so excited. I bought it and was careful not to open it until I was fully ready to sit and savor and be completely absorbed in its awesomeness. And when I finally cracked it open... I was so disappointed.

First of all I couldn't believe how much it SCREAMED "American." I mean, that was so weird to me given that I'd thought that things weren't that different here. And it wasn't just American, but blah, middle-American. Same tired hairstyles, same boring clothes, same sexualized ads. It just wasn't fashiony. So I thought, maybe it's time I look for a new magazine. I never really cared for Vogue, but I've read that the American Vogue really stinks, and others are so much better.

I tried Australian Vogue, thinking it would be awesome like Australian Vogue Living. Nah. Not much better than the Vogue I'm used to. I tried British Vogue, and I've found it! I'm totally hooked. I have been flicking through the same (September) issue over and over.

I've also been checking out some new fashion blogs and websites. I was so inspired at first.  (Can I please have this girl's clothes -- and face and body -- for a day?)  Then after seeing Lookbook.nu, I was a little discouraged. All these (young) people out there are so creative with their clothes (and photography), and I still look like I style myself by the Old Navy ads. What is wrong with me? Aren't I supposed to be this creative person and fashion fiend? Why am I not showing it?

I wonder if it's because I'm here that I'm feeling this now.

George says that he's a little self-conscious being all-out stylish in Colorado, because people just don't do that there and he'd really stand out. I guess I have probably kept it down a notch myself. Well, not anymore! I am hereby making a new resolution to live my life with style. Style at home, style in my clothes.  And not just style, but my style. I can't believe I haven't been expressing myself truly in my clothes. And it's such a silly thing and easy way to let yourself out. I think that's why I obsess over costume opportunities (Halloween, Mardi Gras, opening nights of movies like Harry Potter and Star Wars): I am aching to brake out of my fashion box.

So with that in mind, I did a little shopping yesterday. I don't have my stuff to show off yet, but here is what I got for Regin:

We already had the pants and shoes, but the shirt is new. It's embroidered with some very arty little fishes which I totally loved. Details:

My fashion philosophy is that clothes should express, be sleek, grown up, but also creative, arty, and FUN. When it comes to children, I believe that they have their own fashion. Although it can be cute as heck, I don't believe in dressing them like mini adults. So, it's going to be hard, but I'm going to try and keep that in mind from now on when I shop for Regin. No more buying a bunch of stuff just because that's what's available. And this was my first step. In all the mall yesterday, this (and another shirt with cows instead of fish) was the only thing I found that worked with my criteria. Poor Regin. He's going to have a very small wardrobe for a while!

I know that for most of you who are reading this, clothing is little more than the barrier between your nakedness and the world, and even if you can't ever get the kick out of it I do, I think everyone should at least consider how they project themselves. Is the image you're creating the image you want people to see? Because no matter what you or your personality says, your clothes will always be doing some SERIOUS talking.

A couple of fashion-viewing staples, in case you're interested are:
The Sartorialist
Altamira NYC

I have been following the Sart for AGES now.  Love his photos.