Because it's nice to say things in a slightly different tone and because I wish I had the personal resources to write to you each directly. This is from an email I wrote recently.
Things are fine here. George still likes the environment because things are growing and there are no layoffs so everyone is happy. Regin is still loved and adored by everyone who sees him, and of course by us.
We haven't learned hardly ANY Malay. We've learned lots of Malaysian English though. We want to learn Malay, but we just haven't done it yet. Plus our finances are pretty tight, and we have very little for travel.
What else? After writing [for the blog] it's hard to have anything else to say. So when people ask me how things are here, I'm like.... uuuhhhhhhhh.... and I go kind of spacey. Life here is reasonably good, but so lacking all of our loved ones. We've made some new friends, but they so don't fill the void. I'm not really lonely though, just aware that I'm limited in my ability to hang out with who I want, and chat with buddies, etc..
Our place is nice, we've done some nice things with it, but we've run out of money so it's still kind of empty. The kitchen still grosses me out and I still haven't put all our pots and pans and dishes away because some of the cabinets are smelly. Plus there are geckos running everywhere and leaving poops behind. Sometimes the ants make me want to run through the streets screaming like a crazy person because I can't take it anymore. And then there are cockroaches. I found a cockroach leg in our washing machine and I almost couldn't stand to take out the rest of the laundry in case there were other body parts in there.
I think I'm used to life here though, for the most part. Used to it enough that I think it'll already take me a little adjusting to come back. I think I will become depressed at how dull Denver is when we move back (after the excitement of ease of finding things has worn off). But it will be nice to not spend so much time photographing, editing photos and writing about everything that is happening in our lives. I won't know what I'll do with that spare time!
6 comments:
Come on, is Denver really that boring ... I think that's a little unfair. The population has experienced a 13% increase since 2000 ... people are moving here for some reason ... and people stay here for some reason.
Suburbia ... boring ... absolutely.
BUT you'll be happy to know there is a very nice Sushi restaurant on I25/144th. There is also a new plaza that is almost complete at 128th/Holly AND the lot on the corner of 120th/Holly is being slated for some new development AND there is a Vitamin Cottage going up at 116th/Washington AND there is a Stapleton-like development slated for 140th-ish and Quebec.
Things *are* getting a little better in soulless suburbia. But find me a suburbia that is a mecca of activity - it's contradictory *by definition*.
Denver ... Colorado and mountains ... boring ... a little unfair. There are plenty of activities to do here for a wide array of people.
For example, I met two people last weekend while in Hartford, CT - both were HOT-Lanta (Atlanta) natives. One currently lives in Kyoto, Japan the other in DC. They both are in their late 30s. And both said they've visited on numerous occasions and would love to live here - the outdoor activities being one of the primary attractors - weather being another.
No, I don't work for the Colorado Dept. of Travel and Tourism, but I think labeling the place boring mis-characterizes what is DOES have to offer to those who do not find it boring.
No, it's clearly not everything to everyone (and clearly not what _you'd_ like it to be) ... but neither is NYC or LA. But try San Jose, CA ...
... the streets of downtown Denver are very much alive and busy on the weekends for those who want to wait in line to drink and party.
Love ya,
K:M
I sympathize with the feeling that life will be close to boring when you get back to Denver. I hate living here, but I realize that that has a lot to do with the fact that I don't do a lot of the things that Denver, Colorado is considered fun for. I don't ski. I don't drink. I don't go clubbing. About the only Colordo-ish thing I do is taking walks outside, and riding my bike to places. I feel no connection with the people here. Maybe that's because I'm hardly a social butterfly, but I meet enough people and I've lived here long enough to feel safe in concluding that Denver is just not my idea of fun. It's beautiful, yes. My eyes have so gotten used to seeing the mountains in the horizon, I have a rule about living someplace without mountains... if there are no mountains, I demand the ocean.
When I went on vacation in St. Croix and Mexico, I felt such a connection with the people and their culture and activities that I had a hard time coming back without feeling down in the dumps about it. The difference was felt immediately. I felt it the minute I boarded the plane and headed home.
I don't know where I want to be really if I had a choice. But I know that I want to be someplace a lot more urban and diverse than here. From the sounds of it, Malaysia is nothing if not diverse. I can totally see the difficulty of settling back into Suburbia.
I knew someone would come out in defense of Denver over this one! Ok, it has a lot to do with relativity. Relative because of what locale you are comparing it to, and also relative to the person experiencing it. And I really should have qualified it by saying it was going to be dull for me.
I am with Reem on the fact that we don't appreciate Denver/Colorado as much because of our lack of interest in the outdoor activities it's famous for. Other things I am not into: baseball/football, western-themed anything, country music, brown/dead landscape (that one really depresses me), endless and overbearing sunshine.
But after 13.5 years there I have finally come to love many things about the region. The mountains are undeniably beautiful, I enjoy the outdoors much more than used to (and I love biking, but only on the street, not mountain biking), I LOVE LOVE First Friday Art Walks and other little secret cultural things that Denver has been hiding from me all this time. The salsa scene is also plenty good enough for me. And naturally I have tons of amazing friends there.
I do still feel out of place with the general public. But I think I'm doomed to feel that way wherever I go. I suspect it has to do with my third-cultured upbringing. Reem, you might be in that same boat. You might not love those other culture groups the same way if you lived there. You might be going through some of what I'm going through now and saying to yourself, why aren't these people more like the Americans? In the States I asked why weren't people more like Europeans. In England I didn't know much better yet, but I felt very out of place. I don't remember feeling out of place in Germany, maybe I should move there! But that was 22 years ago now. I imagine I might feel differently about it now.
I always feel good when I go to the Faroes, but I know I would feel much more out of place if I stayed longer.
Is Denver dull though? For someone who doesn't like conservative politics, sports, beer, country and western stuff, brown landscape, who doesn't identify all that much with 'laid back' people, and who doesn't get as much out of the outdoors, yeah, for me it can be dull. And for someone who despises sameness, suburbia is pretty hellish. And, after having gone through funks after coming back from Florida or the Faroes, etc. I know to expect what Reem is talking about. And compared to the hustle and bustle of Penang, the constant array of colorful celebrations and festivals outside my front door, it will take some adjusting to ordinary Colorado life.
I know plenty of you LOVE Colorado. I know Reem, George, and I are in somewhat of a minority. (I have even overheard some locals here oohing and awwing over exotic Colorado). But something that I have learned from Colorado is that I can find things that I love to do there and culture groups (e.g. indie artists, salsa dancers, other third culture people) that I identify with more, so that makes me believe that I can find a place for me to fit in anywhere. That means I won't allow it to take me 13 years before I start making the most of my environment again, but I wonder if 11 months is enough time for to accomplish that here. Either way, I'm sure I will be saying, "Why aren't Americans more like Malaysians," when I get back.
PS Plazas and Vitamin Cottages aren't really what I'm into either. I really am not a fan of strip malls and chains, though, sadly, I'm learning I'm completely addicted to the easy life they afford me.
Phew this was a long one!
You know, it's really interesting, because when I came back after the trips I mentioned, and even while I was on the trips, all I could think was "Why can't Americans be like the Cruzans? or the Mexicans?" Never once while away did I think "Why can't people here be like Americans?"
You mentioned Vitamin Cottages and plaza strip malls and stuff like that. I'm used to those too, but I could definitely live without them. When I first landed in St. Croix and was told there was nothing familiar other than McDonalds, Subway, Kmart, and I think one Payless shoe store, I felt like I was camping in the woods. But the lifestyle there doesn't need Target, or a mall, or anything else I thought was an injustice not to have. Life is jsut as wonderful without those things there. People improvise, and are creative in such environments and I like that.
You said that Colorado has a laid back attitude... it really doesn't. People are always on the go, stressed and keeping themselves busy with one thing or other. If you're late, they get all bent out of shape and think you're dissing them because you let your life get in the way. They're not laid back and mostly not fun without a beer or some other substance to take away the stress that's making them forget how to have fun (with a few exceptions, of course ;) ) Maybe St. Croix is too laid back for you, and maybe Mexico is also too laid back for you, but the quality I most admired about the people of each place is that they are always smiling, and are creative with everything, not just art. Whether it be in ways to make money, or make something otherwise broken work... the creativity of said people makes them a blast to me. Who knows? Maybe if I lived there, my view might change, but for now, Denver is my beautiful home, but dull and not so stimulating.
PS I absolutely love the sunshine here that never goes away for too long. Kudos to Colorado for that. Elisabeth, you might be in the minority for that one ;)
I thought I was a "suburbia" girl (for the safety and laid back-ness not the same-ness that gets on my nerves) and would continue that way once children came. I'm finding it to be the opposite though. I'll be back, I have more to say, but work is calling.
I do not mean to insinuate that I am "into" Vitamin Cottage and plazas, only to let you know that things are "changing" ... I do welcome another store other than King Soops and Safeway to the area.
Let's also set the record straight. I am not in LOVE with Colorado. I do enjoy living here. I would LOVE to live in a city like SFO - even NYC, as I like the *speed* of Manhattan, but I know that for every thing you like about a place, there are things to dislike and in the end, it's likely to end up a net zero. Trade-offs. We learn to accept them and make the best of where we are and what we are given, and do the best to make what we don't like better.
Indeed, I grew up in a far more lush atmosphere than Colorado will every be. I do miss green, but again have learned that there are tradeoffs that must be made. I do not miss humidity and have learned to live with dry winters.
I have come to accept that if you have sun and dry weather, you must forgo humidity.
If you forgo dry weather, you must accept humidity. I could certainly get used to it again if I had to, but I prefer dry when hot.
I have also come to accept that the landscape of this place is painted from a different palette - and this is just what it is ... it defines the difference between here and there. My observation is that the palette is golden brown, blue (from cobolt blue to the midnight blue of the dusk Rockies), and white.
I love the sun - I'm a fire sign - so life without it would be rather rough for me now. The cold - I can live without - but the Colorado winter is far better than anything else I have experienced in places *with* real winter weather (er, you'll be dying to come back after a Chicago winter). So I don't have much to complain about.
I came to Colorado kind of by accident - I didn't move here voluntarily like many people, I came here solely for work. But the place grew on me. I came here from a university that had a huge population (40K students), a very substantial international student body and was nearly 30% out-of-staters. It was a little metropolis unto it's own with live music, speakers, museums, parties and a thriving intellectual community. With 40 foreign languages to study, how can you go wrong? For those of us who want to take advantage - it was awesome.
Moving to Ft. Collins from that was beyond a culture shock! But I came here with no preconceived notions of what it was going to be like. I just accepted the job and moved.
I like new places and thrive on adapting to the situation I'm confronted with, so I made some friends, learned about hiking and outdoors sports and ended up with some life-long friends (and a wife) in the process. It'd probably be the same story if I had moved to Texas, San Francisco or Madrid.
To be clear, it is no cultural mecca here, but let us not hide the facts : there is a substantial Hispanic population here in Colorado - at 20% or better (http://quickfacts.census.gov/qfd/states/08000.html). So in terms of ethnic diversity, you have a fifth of the folks hailing a non-European ethnic background. I would be lying to say that the place is *void* of cultural influences, and probably be making some poor observations to say there isn't anything but white people here. You probably would be surprise to know the Denver Public School system student body is nearly 65% non-Anglo.
Of course, if you leave the Denver metro area and head east to po-dunk CO, sure, you're talking Anglo-Saxon Protestants. If you head to the San Luis Valley you're talking Hispanic Catholics. If you head to ColoSpgs, you're talking military-influenced-right-wing-ideology. That sounds like an mix that sounds like a slice of the US.
I think every place has something to offer. If I lived in Duluth, MN, I'd probably find something interesting about it - just as if I lived in Miami or Milan.
My 2 cents, and I'm done,
K:M
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